hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
you win again, gameday.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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