I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Life is so much better after having sex.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
