How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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