fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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