buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
whose ass print is on the piano?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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