you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
