coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
