He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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