Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
