i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
