You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
did i walk over a car last night?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
How does one acquire holy water?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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