Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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