Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
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