I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
