this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
