i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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