I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
