glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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