Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.

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  (617): road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school. http://tfl.nu/xo9e
  Replies (36) Good night (1734) Bad night (4303)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.

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  (705): i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding. http://tfl.nu/t3vj
  Replies (6) Good night (5500) Bad night (915)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.

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  (443): she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup. http://tfl.nu/y9af
  Replies (16) Good night (5796) Bad night (1168)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.

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  (+44): Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect. http://tfl.nu/gla7
  Replies (3) Good night (809) Bad night (1923)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?

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  (610): Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen? http://tfl.nu/hze5
  Replies (5) Good night (2646) Bad night (935)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.

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  (703): We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day. http://tfl.nu/6fp1
  Replies (5) Good night (756) Bad night (2059)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.

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  (905): I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do. http://tfl.nu/nqbr
  Replies (5) Good night (1753) Bad night (887)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.

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  (803): Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in. http://tfl.nu/noz8
  Replies (2) Good night (872) Bad night (525)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen

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  (+44): She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen http://tfl.nu/pozx
  Replies (3) Good night (1916) Bad night (558)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??

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  (614): When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball?? http://tfl.nu/5g8j
  Replies (3) Good night (516) Bad night (286)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!

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  (505): We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?! http://tfl.nu/gxll
  Replies (6) Good night (525) Bad night (482)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already

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  (302): Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already http://tfl.nu/utft
  Replies (0) Good night (496) Bad night (421)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf

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  (781): Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf http://tfl.nu/hqdc
  Replies (2) Good night (1028) Bad night (393)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.

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  (214): Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch. http://tfl.nu/gat0
  Replies (1) Good night (688) Bad night (400)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.

  (810): View more from Michigan

  We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.

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  (248): I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed. (810): We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team. http://tfl.nu/dgq9
  Replies (0) Good night (621) Bad night (473)

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