Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(317): View more from Indiana

ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.

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(317): ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions. http://tfl.nu/8qmh

Replies (23) Good night (3755) Bad night (735)
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(775): View more from Nevada

What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?

(1-775): View more from Nevada

A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!

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(775): What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS? (1-775): A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass! http://tfl.nu/lvgp

Replies (16) Good night (1688) Bad night (2486)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

omg every time its on

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(203): have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj (1-203): omg every time its on http://tfl.nu/6fsg

Replies (25) Good night (3108) Bad night (1086)
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(713): View more from Texas

jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life

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(713): jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life http://tfl.nu/bfvb

Replies (27) Good night (4545) Bad night (1163)
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(806): View more from Texas

All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"

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(806): All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots" http://tfl.nu/28dj

Replies (12) Good night (5478) Bad night (1224)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.

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(860): He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter. http://tfl.nu/21c2

Replies (18) Good night (5100) Bad night (1431)
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(229): View more from Georgia

I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.

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(229): I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight. http://tfl.nu/g7ms

Replies (17) Good night (4418) Bad night (1630)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.

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(404): Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken. http://tfl.nu/s1v7

Replies (10) Good night (1010) Bad night (2765)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.

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(201): I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out. http://tfl.nu/k100

Replies (5) Good night (1597) Bad night (797)
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(714): View more from California

I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.

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(714): I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished. http://tfl.nu/d04x

Replies (12) Good night (5125) Bad night (514)
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(229): View more from Georgia

She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.

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(229): She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather. http://tfl.nu/lq1l

Replies (10) Good night (1274) Bad night (556)
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(951): View more from California

You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.

(1-951): View more from California

This is the first time I'm hearing this information.

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(951): You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you. (1-951): This is the first time I'm hearing this information. http://tfl.nu/wdlz

Replies (20) Good night (3746) Bad night (627)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together

(1-612): View more from Minnesota

A true beacon of hope in these dark times

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(612): He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together (1-612): A true beacon of hope in these dark times http://tfl.nu/8p83

Replies (12) Good night (2209) Bad night (630)
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(510): View more from California

how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?

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(510): how many people can say they bit their tattoo off? http://tfl.nu/3vcv

Replies (4) Good night (340) Bad night (1527)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.

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(919): I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went. http://tfl.nu/8z0s

Replies (2) Good night (299) Bad night (577)

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