Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.