Texts From Last Night

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  (360): View more from Washington

  nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked

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  (360): nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked http://tfl.nu/nh0r
  Replies (67) Good night (12194) Bad night (1287)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous

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  (204): She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous http://tfl.nu/ntwa
  Replies (17) Good night (8841) Bad night (658)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.

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  (919): I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before. http://tfl.nu/gqc0
  Replies (14) Good night (6002) Bad night (923)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma

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  (216): For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma http://tfl.nu/ysyc
  Replies (14) Good night (1142) Bad night (3415)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either

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  (620): new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either http://tfl.nu/a5gg
  Replies (3) Good night (2105) Bad night (811)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up

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  (630): I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up http://tfl.nu/11fq
  Replies (3) Good night (2261) Bad night (994)
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  (408): View more from California

  Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?

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  (408): Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar? http://tfl.nu/xsyo
  Replies (6) Good night (1725) Bad night (652)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.

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  (810): I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well. http://tfl.nu/a4oz
  Replies (10) Good night (3209) Bad night (579)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin

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  (845): I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin http://tfl.nu/w07j
  Replies (22) Good night (610) Bad night (1751)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.

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  (904): Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars. http://tfl.nu/rfvc
  Replies (2) Good night (1623) Bad night (787)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.

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  (412): This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him. http://tfl.nu/rlpz
  Replies (6) Good night (1307) Bad night (518)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth

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  (402): Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth http://tfl.nu/4hkn
  Replies (16) Good night (657) Bad night (3325)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.

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  (401): also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part. http://tfl.nu/nmg6
  Replies (9) Good night (625) Bad night (271)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.

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  (307): Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex. http://tfl.nu/mrat
  Replies (7) Good night (1733) Bad night (401)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is

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  (306): For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is http://tfl.nu/ppgp
  Replies (8) Good night (730) Bad night (341)

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