I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I currently don't understand fingers.
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