Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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