dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
love makes seman taste better
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
