I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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