you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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