Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
