i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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