Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
