I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
