Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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