At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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