there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
