i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
