Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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