I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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