Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
