she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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