I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
