Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
