how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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