Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize