My hand turned me down
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
