He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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