can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
