I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
