It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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