He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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