..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
