This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
