Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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