is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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