i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
