we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
