I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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