Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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