No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
