We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
