I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
