I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
