Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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