When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
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