If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Randomize
