That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
