You were right. It hurts to walk today.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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