That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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