Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
