singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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