You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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