it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
