Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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