Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
