I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
